NYC Update — Corona Day 4 Humor Edition

— “Alternate side parking is suspended for — um — is suspended.”

I heard this on the radio this morning. And for a New Yorker it was freaking hilarious.

Backstory: What is Alternate Side?

For people who have cars in NYC and don’t want to pay for a garage, you park on the street.

BUT, the catch is they clean the streets daily. One day one side. The next day, the *other* side. So there is a musical chairs of finding parking spaces every other day.

We all listen with ears cocked like Labrador retrievers for announcements that alternate side is suspended because it means you don’t have to move your car.

Alternate-side announcements have a structure as prescribed as the Catholic mass.

Alternate side parking is suspended for <insert reason here.>

— Alternate side parking is suspended for snow removal.

— Alternate side parking is suspended for Passover.

— Alternate side parking is suspended for the Feast of the Assumption.

(Yes. That last one is an actual Thing.)

“Alternate side parking is suspended for the Corona virus.”