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Does Your Boss Play Favorites?

4 Strategies to help you cope (plus a bonus hint for managers)

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Photo by Tim Gouw on Unsplash

Have you ever felt like your boss plays favorites?

You’re not alone. It’s one of the most quietly corrosive dynamics on a team. But while favoritism does happen, it’s not always what it seems.

The truth is: managers are human. They click more easily with some personalities. They might chat more with certain people, share common interests, or default to the colleague whose communication style mirrors their own. It doesn’t mean they’re malicious—it just means they’re human.

But as someone on the receiving end of this dynamic—or as a manager trying to avoid creating it—what can you do?

1. Don’t assume it’s about you

We tend to take things personally — assuming that praise, perks, or even silence is aimed at us. But what if your manager and a teammate both love pickleball? You overhear them chatting excitedly about the new courts downtown, and it suddenly feels like a bond you’re not part of. It can look like favoritism — but maybe it’s just shared interests.

2. Consider personality styles

Maybe your coworker and your manager both perk up in the afternoon and banter over…

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Anna Murray
Anna Murray

Written by Anna Murray

Tech expert, novelist, and essay writer with an ticklish funny bone. My novel, “Greedy Heart,” is First Best Book Finalist in the VIVIAN Awards.